touch my mouth and hold my tongue.

I have said many words in my 26 years on this earth. Kind words mixed with hateful things, cutting and affirming, self-deprecating, boastful, angry screams, soft whispers, loving thoughts, curious musings. Some in different languages, some in gibberish, some in a tongue only Jesus can hear.

And I’m slowly trying to apologize for every single one of them. I have been selfish and cutting and harmful in the quest for myself. My tongue has been my master and it has exploited both of us in ways we may not yet know. I have done no service but for myself. 

This may seem counter-productive, adding more words to the ones I already wish I could take back. Please forgive me for whatever negative thing may come from this.

And now begins the journey toward listening and thinking and treasuring. Being silent more often than not. Using actions to convey my heart-thoughts. Giving of myself in new and sincere ways. There is so much ground to cover and I fear it will be this way for the rest of my life. And if you hear these words in your own head/heart and do not understand what they mean, please cast them aside and forget them. There is enough confusion in this world without my influence. 

May peace invade our conversations. May love be the language we speak among each other. May our tongues drip with encouragement and affirmation. May we be students of each other in ways that will rearrange our relationships.

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