I get experience envy. When someone tells me about certain experiences they have had in life, I get more than a little jealous. It’s not that I’m angry or hurt or disappointed with my life. It’s just that there’s some sort of longing inside of me to do more, see more, live more than I have been.
I’m not sure this longing will subside over time. It seems like an insatiable desire to squeeze every molecule out of life that I possibly can. Is this good? Aren’t we so often told in religious circles that we ought to be content in all things? Am I being a bad Christian if I desire more out of life than what it can give me?
I don’t think so. On the contrary, I would venture to say that contentment and complacency are close cousins. There is a difference, but it has gotten so blurred in our pretense of playing church. I can’t tell you the number of times I have been told to ‘wait on the Lord’. ‘Let go and let God.’ ‘Be still and know…’
First of all, the whole translation of the word “wait” in scripture doesn’t do it justice. It was intended to be closer to our word for serving. So when we are told to wait on the Lord, it literally means that we are supposed to be in service to him.
Second, when did Jesus ever wait silently and submissively when he wanted to do something? Never. He just did it! He knew what he wanted to accomplish in his lifetime and he didn’t sit around and wait for the deacons approval or for the fundraisers to be organized or for his diploma. When he recognized and understood the anointing on his life, he started walking the path.
When we asked God questions like “Do you want me to go to college or work full time?” I believe Gods response is not yes/no/wait. I believe he looks at us, his creation, and says “Yep.” We are his beloved and he will bless what we put our hearts toward. If I wanted to fly a plane, I believe I could…because God loves me and wants me to succeed at everything I do in life.
So when I say that I have experience envy, I mean that I know I can do whatever I desire with Gods blessing and I hate limiting myself. There is so much for me to see and do and love! And I will do it all, more than I can dream up right now! This longing inside me is true and right. He placed it and he will fulfill it.
His love is intensive and his grace overwhelming. Doesn’t that make you want to get up and go move?!